Chronic Illness Forced Me to Accept Myself More.

Two years ago my hair began falling out. Not a little bit at a time; legitimately falling out to the point I had bald spots. Eventually, fed up with patchy hair, I allowed my friend to shave my head and purchased a wig. Fast forward to two days ago, my hair is falling out again. Fast. 

Between the weight gain that came with being sick and now again the hair loss, I am forced to look myself in the mirror and see not my reflection but what lies underneath it. I am forced to see the personality beneath a tired body because while I am resentful of my body at times, my personality has yet to fail me. Sure, plenty of people dislike me for various reasons, but at the end of the day I know if I didn’t like who I was as a person, it would eat me alive. I can no longer become preoccupied with my appearance like I used to be when battling anorexia. I can no longer base my worth on my exterior appearance. While this is a challenge, I think it’s a blessing in many ways. Having battled anorexia, my thoughts were based in appearance related patterns. This grants me an opportunity to shift the way I think. It will teach me, as every challenge has before, that I am strong and resilient. 
With love, 
Jessica.

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