When depression traps you in its web.

For about two weeks now I’ve felt “off.” It has felt as though every minor thing that can go wrong has and like my emotions are anywhere from raging bull mode to a weepy puddle. I’ve tried everything I can think of to get out of this funk, whether it be writing, painting, trying to exercise, loving time with my pets, spending time with loves ones, relaxing with a bath, etc. Sometimes, you have to stop and just let yourself be sad. I don’t mean move into depression’s house and live there, but just let yourself feel the emotions you’ve been running from. I’m under intense stress with my wedding being in two weeks, my health issues still unresolved, and chronic pain. My depression was my body’s way of telling me “you need a break, like yesterday.” So today I allowed myself to cry. I let myself think about how much this can suck, and how I want to scream or give up. I am even having a difficult time finding the words for this blog post, but I felt it necessary to let others know that it’s okay to have a “breakdown day.” Tears release stress and damnit, it’s healthy to cry sometimes! We all do it, some of us (me) more than others, but that’s okay. The good news about sadness is that once it passes, we are that much stronger and that much more appreciative of our ability to move forward and truly enjoy being happy. So listen to your body and your emotions, even if its initially uncomfortable. Your body has its ways of telling you what it needs and its important to grant it just that. The thing that really helps me when it feels like my world is crashing down is to curl up in bed with the fan turned on and either nap or just lay there allowing myself to feel whatever I need to. I set a time limit so I don’t become depression’s roommate and it makes me feel I chose to validate my emotions by giving them time to be felt.

 

With love,

 

Jessica

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