Coming to terms with a new diagnosis. 

Recently I met with my new rheumatologist. I was filled with anxiety and dread, praying I’d for once be taken seriously. Fortunately he was kind and informative. I felt relieved by his demeanor. Professional yet warm. However when I received my diagnosis I was not met with the relief I expected an answer to provide. Initially I was so surprised that he provided a diagnosis it didn’t really set in what that meant for me and for my life. I was a bit stunned when he uttered the words “Its fibromyalgia.” I knew this meant that yet again I had another “invisible” illness to face. I got home and at my rheumatologist request I researched fibro. I learned that there are some treatments but it is lifelong and the most important thing is to avoid flare and listen to your body. I also felt a bit broken because exercise is recommended as one of the best treatments and at this juncture I can barely stand up. For the last week or so I have fallen back into the depths of depression. The waves lapped up my optimism and pulled me below the surface. I am slowly beginning to accept this news but I know it’s going to be a battle. Nothing worth it is easy and baby steps are everything. My steps may be tiny but they will be taken and I will be grateful for each one I take forward.
With love,
Jessica

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